u know what the worst thing about being a girl is… is when another girl asks u for a hair tie, but its ur last one, but u can’t say u don’t have one because she knows its on ur wrist, so u give it to her, and then she says “oh i’ll give it back!” knowing damn well she won’t, and u sit there sad because now you have to go buy another pack of hair ties that u know ur gonna lose by the end of the month
the fact that ellen doesn’t have to insult celebrities to be funny makes her 500% more amazing then she already is
instead she takes photos with them and buys them pizza
If you command me to do something that I was already planning on doing the chances of me doing that thing automatically drop to zero
I’m seeing you talk, and all I’m thinking about is me pissed that I didn’t get fries.